post-surgical blues

so much has happened!


SURGERY.
it all went swimmingly, so i hear. i had a general anaesthetic and a spinal block, which was gross. my family were all present when i was being wheeled into the optheatre, and i became very distressed so they offered me sedation straight up, because you have to be awake for the needle in the spine before they can give you the general. so they pumped some sedation into my arm, and you're supposed to sit up while they spike your spine but i got too dizzy so they put a pillow on my knees and i curled over. i can remember the needle but not the pain, so i assume there wasn't much, then they told me to lie down and i guess the general must have happened because next thing i knew it was 5hrs later and i was in recovery.

i had a little bit of pain in recovery but they hooked me up with something and i slept for a while. the first night out i spent in the high dependency ward next door to a man who was either snoring, vomiting or hawking snot at a high volume the entire night. fortunately i could go back to the normal ward the next day for the rest of the stay.


HOSPITAL.
the nurses at the mercy private have a higher rate of retardedness, i would not recommend going there. my spinal block wore off after 24hrs and the pain, oh the pain, was bad, and it took 18 nurses and 1 hour to set up the intraveinous morphine, during which time i cried, screamed, writhed and my mother abused health professionals. the iv morphine comes with a button, and you administer your own pain relief as often as you need it, with as little as 5 minute intervals. i didn't find morphine as awesome as i'd hoped, but 3 to 4 pushes in 20 minutes put me to sleep, which was good enough.

i was on morphine for a couple of days. the second day out, my surgeon, the lovely gerard powell, visited me and shouted at all the nurses for not doing their jobs properly. apparently i should have been out of bed already, starting movement. so that's what i did from day 3 onwards. the first walk was excruciating, but i soon realised that a lot of the pain was due to the splint holding my leg straight, as it tied over the wound in a particularly sore place. once i removed the splint i found walking easier, though my knee could take no weight, it just gave way. i also lost all use of my quads, so i couldn't lift my leg at all. to get in and out of bed was impossible without somebody lifting my right leg out for me. this was not fun.

sidenote, the tubes in and out of my body when i woke up included: drain tubes in leg, canula with iv fluids (later morphine) in wrist, catheter, nasal canular. 36 staples in incision!!!!

i will include staple photos soon.

the tubes were removed progressively over my stay and i was released from mercy horrorspital about 5 days after surgery.


SINCE HOSPITAL.
i have enjoyed a cocktail of delicious pain relief medication. my leg has strengthened to the point where i can take some quick steps, and lift it in and out of bed sometimes. the pain is still really bad, and i'm scared that it will be for a long time/ever. i don't know how i can stop taking the meds when i feel like they're hardly working anyway. but i guess i'll speak to the specialists about that. it would be easier if my surgeon was more receptive to questions, but that's how surgeons are apparently.

people have been bringing me lots of tv, which has been awesome. true blood, season 3 30 rock, season 2 flight of the conchords have been my favourite friends. they're making me have weird dreams though so i need to go back to reading. steve bought me twilight and guys, i'm pretty sure it sucks. the majority is wrong again.


LOOKING FORWARD.
tactlessly, my hair has started to grow back in the time since i last had chemo. tomorrow i have my first post-op petermac appointment, where i will hopefully be given information regarding the percentage necrosis (deadness) of the tumour they removed, and therefore how much more chemo i need to have, and what type. they've indicated it will probably be another 6-9 months of chemo but tomorrow they should know for sure. then i suppose i'll be admitted next week!

other than chemo, it's all physio and exercises for a while yet. i'm very unstable moving, and very sore. i can't bend my leg past about 45 degrees, so i can't really sit comfortably in a car or a tute or on a chair. it's so easy to think that you would just keep practising but it hurts so much. i think i'll ask about different pain relief because this stuff isn't really cutting the mustard.

we've almost settled on our puppy choice. it's called a new g dog (possibly sponsored by telstra) which is a 4way cross between a cavalier, a bichon frise, a poodle and a schnauzer. they're supposed to be really strong with good temperaments. anyone have an opinion on this?


sorry for such a long and largely unfunny post. it sounds worse than it is, i'm feeling better and stronger every day. my family and steve are doing amazing jobs looking after me, and i have received so many awesome presents and flowers, thank you everyone!! really keeping my spirits up.

hope to be out and about again soon, i miss having stuff to do!

lots of love,
the bionic woman
xox