insanity is a luxury of the healthy

people often say to me, you remember that band aqua, they were quite good, and i think yes, they were quite good and i did quite like them in the 90s as a smaller person and for a short time in the 2000s when i was working on gymbus and that was the entire soundtrack.  but you forget, you do, HOW GOOD THEY ACTUALLY ARE. seriously. i need them on my ipod. it is impossible to be sad through the harmonies. impossible.  my favourites are dr jones, cartoon heroes, my oh my, roses are red, lollypop... let me know if i've forgotten any classics.

anyway, if this blog was called "insane ramblings of jes" i'm pretty sure it would have a much smaller readership, so i'll leave that for the moment.

i came out of hospital on sunday, it's now tuesday and i'm heading back in tomorrow morning at 10am.  it's not really long enough to have heaps of fun or fully recover from the indignities of four days of bed-riddenness, but it's still fricking great to be at home, with all the delicious foods and comfortable beds.  last week, and again tomorrow i'm having methotrexate, which is administered over four hours, and they let you out once the levels of it in your blood drop to a certain level, which takes about four days.  before that it's dangerous to your kidneys so you have to stay connected to the drip, which is annoying but tolerable.

the side effects were completely different to the cisp/doxo that i had 3 weeks ago.  that was all nausea, dizziness, heartburn, tinnitus etc, and this one so far has had very little nausea.  the most prominent side effects this time were aching chest pains, which the doctors think

 had something to do with inflammation, and they sort of extended down my arms and legs, so it was painful even to sit on a cushion on a funny angle.  headaches, too, and hot flu

shes.  so overall much more mild than last time.  hoping

 that this week will be similar, long but relatively easy to tolerate.  then next wednesday is cisp/doxo again then a break.

my hair, however, is all but gone.  even though it's enormously self absorbed, i'll include some photos:

what

how

i can't get this stupid photo

when will things learn to cooperate with me

shit to work

why is my text going all over the place

how infuriating.

i think we're back to normal now?  in no particular order, as the photos refused to be told, these include 

a) two normal photos of my fluffy duck hair

b) one of my silly "granny has escaped from the home" wig, in black and white, a kind of "ooooh mr president" or "i do declare" (not that i have any inkling of the historical contexts of either of these quotes) glamour shot

c) an impression of macaulay culkin circa home alone/alone with michael jackson

d) an image of my head as a deranged pokemon with aspirations for world domination

you can assign the annotations as you see fit.

this post really is off the rails. i apologise if you're not following and we anticipate that normal posting will resume shortly.

so the point is, i am kinda bald. which is fine because i don't really notice it and my head feels much better this way, but bad because it's really shiny and obvious and everyone seems to feel a bit sad when they see it.  not to worry, though.  i have hats and scarves and wigs.

thanks to everyone who sent over stuff this week: food, stuff for the ds, TULIPS, everything i'm forgetting.  your support means so much and i wouldn't get through these weeks without it.

i think i'll read angels and demons this week.  the russell brand autobiography really is good.

miss you all, have a good week. xox